=Perfectionist= Seeking for so call "P e r f e c t i o n"

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Reach home at 3 plus..
Wanted so much to blog at that moment about my feelings and stuff..
But just couldnt bring myself to blog..
My hands is trembling..
No muscle control at all..
Trying to hide every trembling from my mom..
Did everything my mom ask me to..
And off to shower i went..
And i stayed inside for more than 20 mins..
Pass my normal shower time..
I wasnt playing with water..
I was simply stoning and crying..
Yes..crying..

Met up with Laogong on train and went to beach in the morning..
You ppl may think its abit crazy..
thinking what are we doing there early in the morning..
Well..jus chilling out and enjoying each other company..
The wind over there today was super windy..
And lying on his shoulder beside him jus make everything seems so perfect..
I keep praying time stop time stop..
N the time actually pass super slow..
which i am glad cos i have more time to spend with him..
But all in all..no matter what time will still reach..
Time will not stop for any particular reason..
Now i wish i have the special ability of stopping the time.. haiz..
Had lunch with laogong at white sands food court..
And sat the train back to kranji..
Where he have to meet his dad..
We board the train at ard 1..
Seeing the time and every stop passing by..
Nearer and nearer to the time we have to depart..
Nearer and nearer to the place where he have to leave..
My heart cant help but start to sink..
I know time left for me to see him..touch him..feel him..
is getting lesser..
and i have to wait for sun before i get to see him..
So much things wanted to tell him..
But all i can do is just hook onto his arm and rmbing the feeling..
Cos i defintely gonna miss that for the whole 3 days..
So much effort of me drowning back the tears..
And not cryin in front of him was wasted
When he said..
"Must take care of yourself when i'm not ard"
Boom..my tears drop..
Again...he place his hand and my hand tgth..
Asking me to lift off the fourth finger..
Which apparently cant be done..
He said..
"This represents that his heart will always be with me.."
And BOOM..Another round of tears..
reach Kranji..
Alight the Train..
Waiting for the train from the other side for me to go back home..
Was thinking there was enough time for me to have a last gd hug and kiss..
But no..
Train arrive in jus within 2 mins time..
I have to leave..
We jus hug so briefly and jus one last kiss..
My tears just drop like waterfall..
Tried to smile before he left..but i couldnt..

I cried on the train..
I feel so idoit..
I never ever cried on train before..
And this is the first time..
The train was empty though..
With four ppl sitting at each corner of the seats..
And onli me in the middle of nowhere..
Feel so helpless..
Every sms he send jus got the tears whelm up in my eyes..
And tick tock tick tock..
IT went dripping down..

Last Sms from u at 2.51pm..
Last call from u at 2.55pm..
Received ur call at 4.05pm..
know u have reach safetly..
Was relieved..But yet still very sad..
Was very emo throughout the day..
No mood to do anything..
But jus to watch drama series to numb abit of that emptiness..
Thanks yan for intro the drama..
It was really funny..

5 hrs and 45mins since u left..
*I want time to pass like shooting stars now*

♥ 8:22 PM