Musical ended..
Strangely i feel weird..
Feel weird being much more free now..
2months back we just started out with cast of musical dancers
2months back we just started to piece up the choregraphy together..
A month back we were pratising at People Association
A month back we were pratising at Pasir Ris Eilas CC
2 weeks back we were practising at Nyp
2 weeks back we got alot of scolding due to discipling problem..
1 week back we started intensive rehearsals
1 day back we rehearsal at Jubilee Hall
Today musical take place
And now it has offically end..
It ended with tears of joy & happiness
Embracing the effort that we have all put in..
Personally it was a very emotional time for me..
Being able to join such major production have given me experience that i might not even get a chance to do so in future
I totally enjoy myself to the max..
Make up artist from ZA was great..
Hair Stylist did wonders to my hair..
Our choreography was awesome..
And we rock the stage & audience..
First time hearing such great response from audiences..
Thanks Lina for the Good Luck Carebear..
Indeed it bring us good luck//=)
'Dance with my father' was very emotional..
I hope i have moved people's heart with my dance..
I really put in my whole heart into dancing it till i tear..
Partly reason some of you may know..
I shall not elaborate..
But really thanks those people who came down to support us..=)
I defintely will miss musical~!

Loves,
Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 11:53 PM

Recieve your call in the morning..
First sentence i heard was
'Daddy is going to remove your com room power socket & light source'
Just because i forgot to turn off the power supply..
Just because i was so fucking tired that my lappy is giving me problem
refusing to shut down n i just press the on/off button to solve the problem
and walking out of my room ever so groggy forgetting to turn off the lights
Now it become a weapon, a threat that both of you can use against me..
Trying to ban me from using the room till late at night..
Because i have been like so fucking busy with my stuff
that i forgot to return your call
that i forgot to help you check something which you ask me to
NOW i see the time that both of you are trying to make things difficult for me..

Every fault is always me to begin with..

I put so much effort, spend so much time on _______
I neglected everything else..
My Family
My Friends
My R/S
My Studies
Yet it is still the _______ that keeps me going
How long more can i actually ______
How long more can i ________
Am i doing what i am suppose to do?
________ filled my mind~
Where is my motivation now?
What motivates me now?
I guess..
What keeps me going on is still ____________ & ____________


I am breaking,falling apart, losing myself

I'm going to bring my lappy to school in case
both of you is going to do something to my lappy..

Phoebe aka perfectionist

♥ 9:15 AM

Have you feel like killing yourself after a dance performance?
I DID~ and YES..IT HAPPEN TO ME~

Imagine:
- Props(umbrella) spoil & missing
- Not able to quick change & join in next routine in time
- Forget steps
- Stand wrong formation
- Earring drop

It never ever happens to me before you know..
ITS like so DEPRESSING
Cant help but blame myself & started crying my eyes out..
Its a learning lesson & experience for me
But isnt it too much in a lesson to be learnt?
Why be so harsh?
Morale being push down to the bottom of the pit~

**Thanks treasa sis for the bird nest**

Phoebe aka perfectionist

♥ 11:46 PM

How i wish.....................................................

Signing off: Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 1:10 AM

DYING ON THE INSIDE Pain-Regret-Emptyness... Rotting-Disinigrating-Melting away... Never the same because its gone. You feel like your empty, Like you died on the inside. It's like you don't even have A soul-a heart-a mind. Numb is all you feel, Not even pain. I've died on the inside and now i'm Going away-wasting away-leaving. *She is Dead & Gone* *She will never be the same again* Signing off: Nameless...

♥ 11:18 PM

I love performing...
I love performing infront of people who appreciate my dancing..
I love performing infront of my friends..
But the more i DREAM performing infront of my parents..

But never was i given a chance to do so..
Since young, though understanding they can be..
How much they always says
'you dance so much, why never perform for us to see?'
'always dancing away, dont even know if you are really dancing or wad...'
The key word here is I TRIED
I TRIED asking throughout my entire secondary dancing school life..
And each time the reply i always got was
'Too late la'
'Have to work'
'Lazy'
'What is there to see, just dancing ma'

So i GIVE UP ASKING..
Telling myself no hope in expecting you to watch me dance..
Until now i have this great opportunity to show to you what i have..
To show to you how great your daughter is doing now..
I broke that little promise i have..
I ASKED once again hoping that you will be able to turn up..
Initally a YES..turns out to be a NO because u cant take leave..
And a immediate NO from you cause you dont wan to waste your time & you have to work
I know that i cant blame you..
I'm just very sad..
MY last major performances before i 'end' my dancing life after i graduate
Its actually hurting to hear that all my friends parents are watching them perform
But not mine..

Not Now...
Not this performance..
Not in the future..

♥ 10:40 PM

AU WEE FONG!!!!

Your LIFE SUCKS
Your LIFE IS FUCKED UP

........
......
.....
....
...
..
.

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Am so in love with this song currently..
Makes me wanna choreo it..
But YOU DONT HAVE THE TIME
SO JUST SHUT UP~
But i will choreo..
For sure..
Wait till i have the time..
Like really have the time
Please remind me occasionally..
Thanks..

Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 12:05 AM