Blehx..glad that i am back??

Say smilex to phoebe..hehe..

♥ 12:16 AM

MIA -ing for a period of time~

Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 11:30 AM

I'm starting to hate BLOGGER~!
its been giving me a lot of prob..

Its irony how in this BIG BIG world,
You pass by strangers everywhere,
You make friends with strangers somehow,
You became good friend with someone somehow.

But how high is the percentage actually to be able to really meet someone u can rely on..
For me, i am lucky enough to have
A Best Fren
A Sister
A SoulMate

But still as hollow as i feel... not because they didnt did a good job in helping me..
Some problems are just meant to be kept to myself and solve by myself..
I will get it over and done somehow sometime and somewhere..
I just need strength, power, encouragement, support & a hug maybe..


To SIS :
To recall back how excatly we become such good sister, i knew it started with a msn chat.
It started with us opening our hearts to each other & realising how much we have in common.
We dont have to say much, we dont have to console each other much
But we can feel each other, we can simply just let each other feel needed when time comes by
I never have a sister in my life.. And i am really grateful to be able to have you in my life
someone for me to share my joy & sadness together with..
You know i never ever leave you alone when i know you are sad,angry or even happy
You know i will always be there for you if i can just for you
And i know likewise you would do the same for me too
No matter how much you are going through now..
How much problems,feelings you are going through
You know i am always a msn,phone call away..
I be there to listen and possibly advise you if can..
I want to see you happy..
And please be happy..
Follow what your heart always tells you to..
That way you wont regret
I have one wish...
And you know that wish..
A wish for you..
And please fulfill it for me..
Because that is truly what i want for you..

Signing off with *Aching Heart*
Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 12:25 AM

PussyCats Dolls : Until U love U

You know sometime when u see your self
Just see your self
Someone not good enough
And though there's times when you feel like
You can't do nothing right
And then security takes ahold
Obscures your vision of your soul
You can't see what's inside
Open up your eyes

Take a look in the mirror
You're beautiful
Take a moment to love
The one you are
Learn to accept yourself
'cause this that's true
You can't love nobody else
Until u love u

I know sumtime its so hard to keep
Up your self esteem
Sometime u can feel so small
And its so easy to tell yourself
You're not worth much at all
When you aren't sure of who you are
Now it's tearing you apart
You can't see what is true
Change your point of view

Take a look in the mirror
You're beautiful
Take a moment to love
The one you are
Learn to accept yourself
'cause this that's true
You can't love nobody else
Until u love u

Find what is real is what's inside you
Know there's no one else in this world like you
Take maybe just a little time to start and see
Just who you really are

Take a look in the mirror
You're beautiful
Take a moment to love
The one you are
Learn to accept yourself
'cause this that's true
You can't love nobody else
Until u love u

*How true...how true...*

Signing off: Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 11:28 PM

First of all...
To people whom you think that you really know me inside out..
To people whom you think you really know the problem i am going through now..
To people whom you think you can understand the stuff i am struggling now..

You will then naturally have the
- right to tell me what to do
- right to give me advice
- right to judge me
- right to scold me

If not stop judging me and sound like you really know me alot
Because not many people know
Not many people around me are close to me enough to understand what i am going through
So why not start with understanding me more if you really want to
Instead of judging me according to what i am to you in the past
Because things do change if you realise
And i have change without anyone realising it
So bug off and stop spamming my blog like you know me well

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It hurts when you actually made an effort to care for someone with just a simple move or sms
And what i got back was doubts about my actions and thoughts
Think...
If i dont mean it
If i dont care
Do i even bother to take that 10secs of my life
Do i even bother to lift up my finger and start typing 'Take care'
TO YOU
And if that is really what you feel then i guess
I shall see no point in showing concern or even the slightest care
It happens too many a times
It is tiring to doubt people
It is even tiring to be doubt
Tiring to have to explain reason for your actions & concern

With that,
Phoebe aka Perfectionist
is signing off with a pinch in her heart

♥ 10:08 PM

I hate what i am putting myself through..
Have i changed completely?
I am not myself lately..
I feel numb and lost...
I just wish i can chuck everything aside and ROT..
I wish i can be the one waiting for things to happen..
BUT I CANT..
I wish my brain is now empty
So i dont have so many stuff to think about..
So i can relax and just play around like no one business..
But that day will never arrive..

Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 12:03 AM

I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THAT HAVING HIGH FEVER IS NO LAUGHING MATTER~
It sucks to the max to feel body aches all over your freaking body..
imagine how it can actually just develop from one overnight flu..
Tue morning...i was pratically stoning away...with my eyes swollen..
I look awfully sick...quoted by my friends..
Which wasnt true but became true in few hours time..
Stupid me for being stubborn not bringing jacket to school..
knowing i have to enter n leave air conditioner place like tons of times..
guess thats how my condition got worsen..Super heavy flow of flu..-_-
Met Treasa sis for lunch..well..actually more of ice cream dessert session..lol..
i was like freezing to the max...couldnt take it i borrow jacket from sis..
Sis make me play arcade with her~ my hands numb until cannot liao still play bball..lol..
But i enjoy it and also thanks cos at least it makes me forget my sickness even if its awhile..
By afternoon my temp shoot up like no one business..
But i dont have a themometer with me to actually know how 'high' my fever was..haha..
So i tahan all the way till at night..9plus..
Where Eunice actually brought me to see doctor..
My fever was 38.6 giving the counter nurse a shock and shooing me off to the fever holding area
At that point of time, i really felt like crying..
I feel so vulnerable..
I feel that i cant even breathe properly
I just want to sleep and never wake up so i wont feel the pain
I feel like i went back to the time when i am having dengue fever..
I requested for injection..
I dont usually do that cos i dont believe in taking jabs as a way out..
But i got no choice..
Got no choice when i know deep inside my heart how much i yearn to perform the next day
luckily the jab really take effect...
Fever went down..
Now i am left with stupid sorethroat..
Which leaves me with a nasal tone of voice..-_-

Thanks Treasa sis for lending me jacket, accompany me when i am sick, bought me a green bear keychain..
Thanks sharlene for your jacket too..
Thanks Sharlene & Siew yin for helping me to take over the dance admin stuff..
Thanks Terrence for helping to do up everything for the performances..
Thanks all StageArts members for showing concern when i am sick
Big Tons of Thanks to EUNICE..for bringing me to see doctor...without u there think i will just collapse there and not knowing what happen next..
With so much thanks, i am really grateful that so many people in my life care for me and i will treasure it always..

THANKS PEOPLE~!!

Phoebe aka Perfectionist

♥ 12:34 AM